Bangalore, the city of lakes, the IT capital of India, home to some of India's sporting icons, one of the poshest cities, home to internationally acclaimed educational institutions(IIM n IISc),a metropolitan city fast turning into a cosmopolitan. A place where thousands arrive in a day with dreams of making it BIG, with hopes of finding some way to earn something that could enable roti kapda makan for them n their families and definitely a very good place to live if one can afford the place.(Imagine a masala dosa costing 22 bucks, a wada costing 10 bucks, whereas over here more tastier ones cost u 12 n 2.50 bucks respectively...home sweet home!)
And what brings most people to bangalore, brought me too...job-hunting. One sunny day in October i and dilbert(not the flat headed engineer that appears in comic strips, created by scott adams) reached bangalore, after a journey standing all the way for 700kms, sleepless in the a-bit-too- over crowded general compartment of the Island Express(the word Express here is a misnomer..this train has over the years achieved great deal of notoriety for never coming anywhere near the scheduled time). We(me in dilbert) were much suffocated in the train, planting both feet to the ground was hardly feasible. I like every other human being abroad had myself twisted n more twisted in an attempt to have some breathing as well as standing room.
There is saying that goes "when u r in a place u dont know, ur tongue helps u out"(n never use this logic if u r lost somewhere in the african jungles). So, with this logic in my mind and armed with hindi, one of the few languages that work in bangalore, I n dilbert where roaming around quite cluelessly, doing what 'no-idea-what-to-do-next' tourists do the best, window shopping in some of the most expensive malls and also not failing to feast our eyes on some 'shehar ki ladki'. Time went by as we wandered and wandered,(the only difference then between us n stray dogs, was that we were not dogs).
Aching legs and a growling stomach, forced us to stop this tiresome yet enjoyable activity and planned to return to our hotel room.
Auto-Drivers in most metropolitian cities are known to take new comers to city on a world tour and charge fares that would be comparables to the air-travel ones(ok! ok! i am exaggerating.)
Not wanting to spend much on hiring an auto, we thought of asking the nearest bus-stop(remember the logic). As, i knew more hindi than dilbert, i was quite confident of talking to one or the other guy on the road and finding the bus-stop, and proudly lead the way. After enquiring some of the fellow passerby's, i sensed that most people on the road are more lost than what we are, and in the process we also had a bunch of kids asking us direction to some weird named location.(Believe me, most places in bangalore are proud owners of weird names), and we duly dispatched them to the direction opposite to ours.
I realised, that either shop-keepers or auto-walla's could be of more help.
With no shops to be found anywhere in the horizon, we started looking for some parked auto's.
After a bit more wandering, we found one.
I paced ahead of dilbert and became more excited on seeing the auto-driver in it and asked
me:"bhai yeh majestic ka bus stop kaha pe hain" (majestic is a place in bangalore..did'nt i say bangalore has places with weird names).
auto-wallah dude: kya reee(with kannada slang..n a scorn filled sound)..and then he pointed his fingers to the back, indicating we could take his auto.(n i initially thought something is wrong with this guy..well i was'nt wrong)
me:"bhai yeh majestic ka bus stop kaha pe hain"
auto-wallah dude:murmured something..and came out of the auto.
by this time i and dilbert had walked past the auto..and this dude was shouting and seemed to follow us.
when we turned back..i could see this guy talking some shit..quite enraged..and was showing actions of spitting on my face.(none of his saliva hit me)
Now, that enraged me....
me:!^(#(!^#$&(!*%&#%$!&(!#%*!#%)!*%)$ )$%^(*^%($* !%#*( i used almost everything i had garnered during my stay in mumbai)
and also, i proved why humans are truly the descendents of the monkey clan, i did what he did, i spat on him(no, it did not strike him, THANK GOD!!)
Before things could turn more ugly(probably, with me getting beaten up by the auto-wallahs gang), dilbert pulled me out of it, and we simply crossed the road and were lucky to meet a more intelligent species who knew where the bus-stop was.
So kids this above crap has a lesson to be learned from it..
"NEVER ASK FOR DIRECTIONS TO AN AUTO-GUY."
Time is 156am, i am hardly sleepy, all attributed to the hours of hard work i do sleeping in the morning. I am having some mixed feelings, feeling a bit bad as my super-selector is screwed as the server says i got some problem(n how did it??..must have met my dad somewhere) and am feeling really happy as Arsenal has screwed ManU for the second time this season. Cheers ARSENAL.
I am listening to "panchi hoon" from aadat by JAL(the pakistani band)..quite a good song!!
Thats all!!
16.1.07
Could i be an alien???
"Time n Tide waits for no man" one dude said this, n most agree to it. But when u have been sitting at home doing nothing other than ruing over the misfortunes caused for months together, n waiting for something to happen, time seem to be waiting on u(n u have no idea about the tides).
Since time is waiting(seemingly), there comes a remote probability that i am an ALIEN(after all what does imagination cost??). One who landed on the earth in a space capsule that was sent from krypton when the planet was seeing its last.
But after unsuccessful attempts at lifting my neighbors bull-dozer, unable to see through walls, n all attempts at flying all by self only ending up in a bruised me n as a last resort failing to find any abandoned spaceship or traces of it, i realized i was very much human than the kryptonite dude Superman. Considering the positive aspect of it, at least i wont be teased by kids for wearing odd colored undies over my pants.
And if i am not Superman i don't want to be anyone else among the ALIEN clan.!!
Are'nt there times in life when u wish u were super-man or u were bitten by that radio-active spider which would transform u into spidey, or u had enough money to be the bat-man??
Wont it be cool to fly n or swing around with anonymity, help all those in distress, catch damsels falling down , fight villans with super powers or high tech gadgets..yeah in the process getting to date great looking women who would swoon all over u for nothing.(how i wish??!)
Well, no more senseless stuff, time is 545am n i have hardly slept.
chao!
Since time is waiting(seemingly), there comes a remote probability that i am an ALIEN(after all what does imagination cost??). One who landed on the earth in a space capsule that was sent from krypton when the planet was seeing its last.
But after unsuccessful attempts at lifting my neighbors bull-dozer, unable to see through walls, n all attempts at flying all by self only ending up in a bruised me n as a last resort failing to find any abandoned spaceship or traces of it, i realized i was very much human than the kryptonite dude Superman. Considering the positive aspect of it, at least i wont be teased by kids for wearing odd colored undies over my pants.
And if i am not Superman i don't want to be anyone else among the ALIEN clan.!!
Are'nt there times in life when u wish u were super-man or u were bitten by that radio-active spider which would transform u into spidey, or u had enough money to be the bat-man??
Wont it be cool to fly n or swing around with anonymity, help all those in distress, catch damsels falling down , fight villans with super powers or high tech gadgets..yeah in the process getting to date great looking women who would swoon all over u for nothing.(how i wish??!)
Well, no more senseless stuff, time is 545am n i have hardly slept.
chao!
4.1.07
The OMs-EYE Story!
Back home after a heavy-work out at the gym,( i started taking my gym seriously after i found my 7 year old cousin drawing an outline of my body, his art resembled an '8' like figure..which made me analyze myself in the mirror n well the kid cannot be blamed.) my grandma busy getting herself amused watching the never-ending serials told me to prepare food on my own.
Oh o!, last attempt at food-making had ended up in me eating a nearly blackish omlete.. i thought no more to omlete..i will make something a bit less complex..then what??
bullseye!..yes it will be bullseye.
So simple to make, all u need is an egg, some pepper powder n some salt. To the overly curious, yes dear we do need a a frying pan, some oil n a working gas stove and u dont need to turn sides too.(an idiots guide to making a bullseye)
After the thinking process, i started the preparations...kept the frying pan, poured the oil(of course the gas was on), broke the egg into the frying pan..n after a few minutes when it was time to get it out of the pan....i deduced that i had poured oil a bit too much...as i could not get the bullseye on my spoon(the larger one..with which we take dosas n omletes out of the pan..well what is it scientifically called??)..after some wobbling around i finally somehow managed to get the BE(Bull'sEye) on to the spoon, but only for it to slip out of it..n fall back onto the pan..with the jelly like yolk part falling face first on to the pan...(Crap!i never get a proper result out of my cooking endeavors)..after which i took it the formerly BE out of the pan n put it onto my plate(and yes i switched off the gas).
Now on the plate, it looked so unique, so different.With one side it resembled an omlete n on the other side it was yellowish. Can this be called a BE??
Well, then it suddenly struck me, hey i found something new, i have discovered something whose existence has not been known till now(no.no neither did i shout eureka eureka n run allover nor was i much excited on the thought that i discovered something), then i thought of naming it.
Hence was OMs-EYE born. A cross between an Omlete and a BE.
How did i manage to eat it???
Well, well when u r really hungry, the taste hardly matters
Oh o!, last attempt at food-making had ended up in me eating a nearly blackish omlete.. i thought no more to omlete..i will make something a bit less complex..then what??
bullseye!..yes it will be bullseye.
So simple to make, all u need is an egg, some pepper powder n some salt. To the overly curious, yes dear we do need a a frying pan, some oil n a working gas stove and u dont need to turn sides too.(an idiots guide to making a bullseye)
After the thinking process, i started the preparations...kept the frying pan, poured the oil(of course the gas was on), broke the egg into the frying pan..n after a few minutes when it was time to get it out of the pan....i deduced that i had poured oil a bit too much...as i could not get the bullseye on my spoon(the larger one..with which we take dosas n omletes out of the pan..well what is it scientifically called??)..after some wobbling around i finally somehow managed to get the BE(Bull'sEye) on to the spoon, but only for it to slip out of it..n fall back onto the pan..with the jelly like yolk part falling face first on to the pan...(Crap!i never get a proper result out of my cooking endeavors)..after which i took it the formerly BE out of the pan n put it onto my plate(and yes i switched off the gas).
Now on the plate, it looked so unique, so different.With one side it resembled an omlete n on the other side it was yellowish. Can this be called a BE??
Well, then it suddenly struck me, hey i found something new, i have discovered something whose existence has not been known till now(no.no neither did i shout eureka eureka n run allover nor was i much excited on the thought that i discovered something), then i thought of naming it.
Hence was OMs-EYE born. A cross between an Omlete and a BE.
How did i manage to eat it???
Well, well when u r really hungry, the taste hardly matters
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